Just saw Paranormal Activity with the gays. Wow, I am literally stunned that there have been two (2) good American made horror movies this year! I literally can't remember the last time I saw an American horror movie before this year that was not complete shite. I loved the first 10mins of Jeepers Creepers but everything after that was awful. I did like What Lies Beneath at the cinema, possibly mainly because Marie kept jumping which made me jump more than the movie lol. So yeah I recommend PA. The set up is pure genius for levering tension. In most horror movies the tension before a fright is a bit hackneyed, the hero is walking somewhere a bit dark looking scared and breathing heavily etc etc. It can be scary but because you've seen it all before it looses a little something, it's not just that you know something scary is about to happen, it's that you've seen the set up. With PA thats changed. You know EXACTLY when something scary is gonna happen, it's not the fear of 'what if', it's the fear of 'what will' happen. Whenever it shows that static shot of the bed, hall, dark stairway and open guest rooms you know somethings gonna happen. You kinda know what sort of thing will happen too, like it's fairly obviously gonna be a noise or something is gonna move. But you don't know what and it's not a set up you've seen before. It really works. Of course the last 20 mins are so are a bit of a disappointment as is often the case in horror movies. It's the build up thats frightening, the end bit can't live up to the slow build. I loved it up to the penultimate night when it really revved up and I laughed out loud at the final shot. Which is a shame as it was a good movie and I must admit I'm not all that happy sitting here with my back to the dark hallway, dark stairs and dark living room...

Well thats enough film school 101 with professor Twazerk. Guess what happened today? Yes I DID something! lol. I've actually gone part way of clearing the monstrosity of my room. I have paperwork still to go through but I do have a huge bag of charity clothes and stuff and it's more than I've done in around 9 months so it's not too shabby for me. I feel a bit of renewed vigour at battling this fucking depression. I'm just fed up with it taking me 3-4 hours to be able to drag myself out of bed every morning. It wouldn't be so bad if I was reading or listening to music but I just lie there trying to get up. Well not tomorrow. I won't let it happen. Despite the fact that I'm fast running out of money I think I'm also gonna go ahead and buy a shit load of vitamins and supplement thingies, it should help. Ooo the heating just clicked off and it's gone all eerily quiet ;) hehe. Lucky I don't believe in paranormal activities. Anyway yeah I've coped for years with this shit so there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to get back up to running speed. I just really wish I didn't have to quit my job, I knew it was my rock and constant which is why I took a week to decide the obvious and quit. I'm sure I'll feel better when I'm working again, I just need to *have* to get up is all. If I can force myself up tomorrow morning than I should be a few steps away to being able to get myself ready actually job hunt and go and sign on and helpful things. Like sorting out my bank accounts, changing my tariff, quitting the union, getting my bonus and the million other things I'm yet to do. I hate putting all this down in writing but I feel if I've written it down in a public forum than I'm pressuring myself to go ahead with all this shit.

Another random (but mercifully short) meme. Look, I'm pissed off as I've lost my ability to get youtube onto my ipod :( When the comp went so did quicktime pro which converts .flv to .mp4 I bought quicktime pro again and it's randomly stopped recognising .flv as a movie file. I tried about 5 other things and finally emailed a website who have suggested an online conversion site but I don't think it's working seen as it's taken about an hour so far. But I'm scared of switching off just incase!

( If you had to do a meme... )

Now just because it would be a shame not to let me show you pictures of the people I have talked about 'sexoring' in this meme.
( pics of dead people and politicians... )

I'm feeling much better now. Nothing like a cathartic rant. And thanks thanks thanks to the max to Sass - love you loads, see you soon :)

Had oodles of fun at Karaoke Circus last night. As always it was a hilarious affair, though I must admit I laughed hardest fooling around screwing with Ant, singing bloodhound gang with Paul and holding hands with Ant under my hat before it started...

I was immensely disappointed that Jessica Hynes didn't turn up for her duet with Chris Addison (Pogues) but the fill in was passable. Jess then arrived half way through and booted her off so they started again lol! I'm not sure if I should be relieved or upset that she missed my rendition of 'All You Need Is Love'. How did I know that if I put my name down I'd be called to the stage? Well I just always am it seems, I can't remember the last time I attended anything involving audience participation in which I was physically close enough to be possibly called upon and not called upon. Not that I mind of course. I must admit that I've been thinking about being on stage a lot since I left Lloyds. I do really miss it (obviously I try not to think about the disaster of La Suggia) so despite the often embarrassing nature of many of these events I don't really mind as long as I feel I did my part as well as could be expected. For me this makes my Karaoke Circus debut very strange as I couldn't hear a bloody word of it! I literally could not hear myself in the slightest. Even as I was doing the screamo at the end (my intention was to make Chris of Turbowolf proud) I could barely hear myself. And I also couldn't really gage the audience reaction. So I feel like I'm the only one there who has no idea what happened when I was on stage! Lol. I am a bit annoyed that I forgot to do my burlesque during the dance break but what with holding the mike and the lyrics I just didn't have a hand free to flick my string anyway (yes I made that purposefully confusing to those of you not there, deal with it).

I had a lovely night with natbat on tuesday. I was in london for night watch at Sams so I thought I'd hang around and visit natbat, cheaper that way you see. So I did night watch. Finished at 3am, went and started the final Harry Potter till around 5am then slept till 9.30am and walked to The Globe to see Phillip, unfortunately he was unable to do any sword fyghtynge with me so instead I sat in the Royal Festival Hall and read. I also saw the photo exhibition they have on. YOU MUST GO AND SEE IT. It's the press photographer of the year and some of them are so beautiful, most are very moving, all are thought provoking and some I must say are very very disturbing but in a thought provoking kind of way. It's free, it's just in the foyer of the RFH I REALLY REALLY recommend it. Anyway I then went round natbats and we succeeded in watching both Ace Venturas and the entire first season of Black Books before she went to bed and I stayed up to 5am to finish Harry Potter! (I'll post separately to hide spoilers) I was then up at 7am to leave with natbat. We did have a good time. I've also watched both seasons of Joking Apart with my mater. Very very funny, Stephen Moffat is the absolute king of situational comedy. Most sitcoms actually get the humour from the characters more than the situations but Moffat just crafts the most superb situations, it could be funny with any character.

I should bed soon I'm off relatively early tomorrow to join The Wave, a climate change march across London. Finally my first march! They always bloody clash with work or Sams (as did this but I managed to swap shifts).

I've been trying not to post like this but right now I guess I just need to feel like I'm communicating with someone, that I'm not alone.

I just bawled, ok it was only a 2minute thing but for me thats a long time, can't remember the last time I cried so hard. It was induced by the ending of Life is Beautiful, one of the greatest films I have ever seen. It's funny because the part that set me off is actually quite happy as films about genocide go. Still its the whole father son thing that I had a weakness for long before Dad died and now is just too much to bare.

Oh man. I've not been having the best few months I can tell you. I just don't know how to cope with ... anything. I can't even get out of bed in the morning anymore. I can't remember the last time I actually achieved anything. I think a good analogy for it is that when you lose someone a pit opens in your heart and as you live your life a portion of all your experiences falls into the pit. The way that people get over a loss is not to fill the pit, the pit is gonna stay for ever, but to either rope it off and pretend it's not there or to face the pit and find a way of fitting a grill or maybe even have some lovely huge experience that will block the pit with its fat ass. Or is that a metaphor? My head hurts I can't think straight. Anyway I guess I've been falling in the first category, you know the one that doesn't really work. Still it's how I deal with most things so why not this? It does work really, it's just not always easy and sometimes you trip over the rope.

I learnt yesterday that there is a bench for Dad in Chelmsford. It was put up by the Tai Chi society. Apparently Mum asked for it to be to all those lost but they wouldn't hear of it. I don't know how to deal with it, just thinking about it and typing it makes me well up. It's very touching and yet somehow scary. I walk around the house trying not to look at the pictures we have because I can't face up to it. I do want to see the bench but I just don't think I'm strong enough.

I hate crying alone. You know I literally have no idea when the last time I really cried on someone's shoulder, when I had someone looking after me as I wept. It's possible Marie may have managed that once but I can't actually remember. If not then it would have been pre-teen, unless you count Marley my cat or Bozo the soft toy I've had since birth.

Ok I think I'm feeling strong enough to think about food. One of these days I really should go back to having three meals a day, I'm getting a bit too skinny. Still I'm healthy so that's ok.

For those of you that find other peoples dreams boring look away now. I just had to conserve this one for posterity though.

So I'm in a swimming pool and Bishi is there (alas I don't have any memory of Bishi in a bikini) and she keeps losing things. She lost a sort of scarf/wrap thing and I knew she was going to the shallow end to ask people if they'd seen it. I swam off to the deep end because I thought it might have been sucked (?) there, and lo and behold there it was. I think it was an Algeria flag or something random. Anyway I retrieved it and went back to look for Bishi who had rounded up a group of girls at the foot of the pool and was asking them. I walked up to her and handed it over, was about to turn heels and walk away then changed my mind and thought I'd continue walking past her. This was my greatest decision as I took a step forward and she pulled me in to a hug. The next part is a little fuzzy but we were basically hanging together in the pool. At one point she lost her high heel (!) near the deep end so I dived in to get it. As I was pushing inder the water to grasp the golden high heel shoe she stopped me exclaiming that I would drown. I said it was fine as it was only about 5 feet deep... Randomly there was some sort of gig going on just past the deep end, there was a big stage like at a festival or something, I think it was for radio. This band started playing a very average song so I decided to impress Bishi by staying underwater for the whole song (boy do I know what women want or what eh?) The next thing I know I *am* Lucy Lawless, I'm still with Bishi though. Bishi is now rehearsing some danced number for a gig and she has this whole troup of dancers (very un-Bishi btw) so she's strutting around and I, as Lucy Lawless, reach out and caress her leg as she struts past. I immediately realise this to have been a stupid thing to do as it's distracting as she's trying to work and as we haven't really got a proper relationship yet I reckon I've just ruined everything. Sure enough she seems to be looking over in my direction in a particularly cold manner. At this point I should note I'm viewing the action from behind Lucy's head. So Bishi stalks over and to my relief she's pissed off at someone else about something to do with the show.
Suddenly the action changes completely. I'm still Lucy but I'm now in this park which is being prepped for a scene of Xena. There is this carving of an owl with an inscription saying something about how it's meant to depict the most simple greek ideal or something. I have a go at the set guys as they should have used a depiction of an atom rather than an owl. They take the owl and run off but this one guy says he has just the thing. He stands a small tube on the floor and places a ball a few feet above it, sort of at elbow level. The ball hovers. I say this is great and I think Renee O'Conner/Gabriel is with me too and I think she is also Fee at a time and possibly natbat too. Anyway I'm happy with this and want to examine it but as I touch the ball and move it a burst of pure energy emerges from the tube and shoots off. The guy looks horrified and thinks I may have just destroyed Japan, Turns out this is an immensely powerful weapon. For no reason I can figure out I sort of bumble into firing it about 6 more times. The further you move the ball the more powerful the discharge. I did a couple small ones and they created some volcanoes in the park...

Unfortunately then Fee replied to the text I'd sent last night and I woke up. I haz a mad brainium. Anyway Ross is now here so I shall now depart to watch some Family Guy. Buh-bye!

I'm feeling quite wired right now. Had a cup of coffee about six and a half hours ago, thought is might be necessary to get through the four hour Japanese movie I saw at the Institute of Contemporary Arts after a day of Sword fyghtynge at the Glob and German Market seeing in Kingston (btw natbat there is one of those milkshake places where they do like mars bars and shit in Kingston). The film in question is 'Love Exposure' directed by Sion Sono and it is FUCKING AMAZING. I will now watch every film he's made. I don't understand how he can make a simple story that would be possibly a bit boring in a 1hr30 film and make it so great in a 4hr. It really didn't drag either. Ok so the third hour was a slight dip but not much. I will buy it when it comes out and urge people to watch it with me. You will be amazed. Strong themes of religion and indoctrination and great satire on Japanese culture and much perversity.

I'm sad that Miry will be leaving the country again on monday :( It really seems like she's only just got here and I miss her so much when she's in Bulgaria. This visit may have been short but at least I've been seeing her 2-3 times a week. What am I gonna do with myself when she's gone? It's been nice to have someone taking my mind off shit.

Rod y Gab was great on Monday, even though I was stuck behind some 7ft monstrosities and a guy who danced like he was having an epileptic fit, either that or he was trying to induce one by the vibrations on his bizarre shirt. Talked to Wallis again afterwards, she recognised me which is nice. Didn't get to tell her that she'd messed up signing my album last time by forgetting to put her number on it but at least I did get another double cheek kiss. Ahh women, how easily you bewitch me.

Anyway I could rabbit on about crap for ages for I am on a caffeine high but instead I will go and make some toast and watch Morgan Freeman talk about some penguins. Bloody Lovefilm, was REALLY hoping for s1 BSG, I loved loved loved the mini series. Ahh Starbuck. I don't know why I seem to be attracted to more and more masculine women recently... I must admit that Miss Scorpion in Love Exposure was fit as. Does it matter that she's a bloke in flares and a hat? No probably not.


this is the only pic I can find online, doesn't really give an accurate effect though.



Ahh there you go. Page 16 of google image search.

Why am I so crap at being like an adult?! So the eagle eyed of you may remember a brief mention of a hot new recruit in my friday Sams back in 13th october post. Well cuz I had to miss a shift today was the next time I went. She seems great, we all go upstairs after the shift ends to drink some wine and chat (ever tried getting into a pub in central London at 10pm on a friday? Not possible). We and the other woman she joined with sat for around 20mins later than everyone else talking, I got to tell my best anecdote and all was good. I even got to walk with her alone for a bit as we left. So it's fine, we chat, I make her laugh, she makes me laugh, all is fine. But that's all it is and all it probably ever will be because I am fail. It's like this: I'm super good at talking to new people in whatever situation and putting them at ease, making them feel comfortable. I'm not too hot on random small talk but the ease thing I can do. My problem when talking to women is that I put them too much at ease. I think my talent at the ease erases any hope for frisson. Perhaps if someone was ever attracted to me than frisson would still be possible even with the ease, but I don't have that to work with so I need some kind of new not so ease inducing way of talking to people. I think the youths in the hood call that kind of thing 'flirting'... Hell I couldn't even woo, let alone flirt. Actually I take that back. I think I would make a darn good woo-er, what I need now is a time machine and a way back to more civilised climes where I could be a man of honour and dignity. All I'd need is a noble birth, a nice pile of gold and I'd have ladies swooning in their smocks.
Growned up life sucks. It's funny cuz as a teenager I didn't know how to talk to girls and I always thought that when I got to mid-late twenties I would be fine because then I'd be able to just talk to people like a normal human being, teenagers you needed to talk to in some special way that I was never privy to, adult conversation I could do. Now that I'm adulted I find that I was wrong. There is still some barrier of language and the like and what I was thinking of really was, without watching any at the time, period drama. Which of course had a massively complicated set of rules and allowable language but at least then the rules were all bloody explicit.

I feel that this post is rather dull so now I will post a picture. As I write this I have no idea what type of picture I will post. Time for a random google image search for something entertaining and/or alluring.



In actual fact I got this from my hard drive...

( srsly wtf? )

It's been ages since I remembered any dreams but I've remembered a couple of randoms recently. Strangely both involving Marie, I don't believe I've had any dreams about her since we broke up so it is rather odd. I guess the first one was a consequence of being in Putney and remembering that bad argument we had because all I can now remember is that we were having a massive argument (in the present time) and it was ALL her fault! lol I can't remember who else was there or what it was about but I do remember she was completely in the wrong and I was doing everything right and completely blameless lol.
The dream I had last night was odd because it was of another fight with M but this time it was 100% my fault and I was being a complete and utter arse! Natbat was having a party but it was at my house for some reason. And strangely it actually *was* my house, normally my house is completely different in my dreams. Anywho she said she had a surprise for the party which was that she had bought an expensive joint of pork... and she had buried it outside in a box... So it was raining heavily and everyone put on their shoes and got under umbrellas to go and see. I decided to stay in my socks and got under Phils massive umbrella, which reached to the floor! So I thought I'd be ok cuz I wasn't gonna get rained on but we had to walk on the grass so my socks got muddy. I proceeded to have a massive go at Marie for the fact that 'she got my socks muddy', completely oblivious to the retorts that I could have worn shoes. I stormed off back to the house and natbat was waiting in the doorway and scolded me for being an arse and I protested that it was Maries fault not mine! Lol no idea why I dreamed myself as a complete arsehole.
Thankfully no such arguments arose at Ross' London b'day bash tonight, infact she even made eye contact with me for a full second! It may have even been a second and a half which is a massive improvement on previous meets, lol. I think it may be due to my lack of upper lip curliness right now.

We had a waterfall in the morning. Unfortunately it was on the inside of the house, on all three floors. Damn weather. Don't know what other people had but the hailstones were easily the size of golf balls here, never seen anything like it. This is one of the reasons why I'm going to www.stopclimatechaos.org/the-wave.

So many cool things have happened since my last proper post. I saw Green Day ffs! That was truly truly awesome. We were lucky to get there in time and fortunate to manage to get up close to the front after getting there so late due to many many public transport fails. See fb for pics.

I had a cool experience on Halloween, went to see Up with the family and I took them to Tas Pide first. It was packed and had lots of reservations but because the owner recognised me she said she didn't want to turn me away and 'took the risk' of giving us a reserved table! You see funny facial hair does me very well, I can't imagine there are many people she'd recognise just from going to the restaurant about 7-8 times over a two year period! So I feel quite sad that I've trimmed my facial extremities. I kinda feel like a traitor to my face, to my bizarre nature and to general geekdom or something. It's also a little scary as it's been such a comforting mask for the last year! Why did I do it then? Well I don't really know tbh. I thought I might thicken up the moustache to full upper lip coverage and as it grows it would look better if I was stubbly all over. So I didn't shave for a while and I kinda like the sideburns I must say. So I thought maybe a change would be in order and I have had some positive feedback from it. On sunday I asked Fee to help me shape my beard as it didn't really fit in and so now I have much more stylised facial hair. I do think that the facial hair looks a lot better then it did before, however the good looks of it weren't ever the point. Especially as I don't at all feel like the good facial hair in any way makes me look anywhere near good. So I'm a little torn on what to do. I'm gonna keep it as it is right now until the upper lip is fully long and see how twirly twirly looks with all the thickness and the rest of the hair and make decisions based on that I guess. I must say these sideburns make me feel a bit 'North and South' and maybe I should invest in a stovepipe hat...

Had a very strange and lovely day last thursday. I was due to meet Miry and go and have lunch with ex-lecturer Raj at Uni. My God the nostalgia was immense, so strange to go back. I got to Putney early and so had a walk around the high street. That was VERY odd. It has barely changed! I would have expected lots of shops to have closed down what with the credit crunch etc but it's all pretty much the same. Putney high street to me was a bit bittersweet though as it bought back lots of memories with Marie. For example the high street was the scene of our biggest ever argument. We very nearly broke up on that high street, God knows what it was about though. Most likely something ludicrously stupid, I seem to remember thinking Marie was being utterly unreasonable and I'm certain she thought the same about me! Miry and I then went to the Uni grounds via the infamous 'shark infested waters of Roehampton' bus, meaning we had to walk past the Philosophy Mansion - still has the same curtains, SO weird. The uni was mostly the same too, was very weird but heart warming to see posters up for the Philosophy Society that we started. Had a lovely lunch with Raj in a much changed canteen. A lot of money seems to have been spent since we left I must say. It's in a much better state than it used to be! Then Miry and I hung around for a few hours checking it all out. The canteen above the Belfry (student bar) is much the same but for some reason struck me more than most for being different just because it no longer stunk of smoke! Funny how smells (or lack there of) are often more powerful than sights. The Belfry itself was much changed by the inclusion of a huge stage! I guess they must have lots of live music there now. I tell you I never felt more like I wanted to go back. It was amazing the amount of memories that just came flooding back, the people that we'd completely forgotten about, every inch was just seeping nostalgia.

Then yesterday I had another nostalgia filled day. Went to meet Miry at her current (very lovely) abode to watch the Symposium all day. For those of you not in the know The Symposium is the name of the video we made containing 4 hours and 5 minutes of various improvised skits we lovingly crafted. It started as a piss take of The Blob and eventually covered numerous b-movies, J-horrors and an epic reduced Twin Peaks, random philosophy in jokes and much impressions of lecturers and prominent philosophers. Have you ever asked yourself what would happen if your lecturers were in a big Brother style house? We did, and more than that we filmed 'Big Philosopher' and it's about an hour long... How about if lectures and philosophers competed in an 'America's Next Top Model'? Yes we have 'America's Next Top Philosopher', complete with guest judge Socrates and 'J Wittgenstein' as style guru. Or how about the 'Oscars'? We have 'Philoscars' (sponsered by Toblerone and hosted by Dr Carsten Held who is an in joke to end all in jokes). I literally have no idea how I ended up with a 1st. Well actually I think this is the real reason as it was the only way to give in to insanity without actually going insane. I was crying with laughter for so much of it, some of it would be funny to other people but really and truly you just had to be there. I can't believe how long it's been since I last saw myself in jeans and a pink 'toga' singing and dancing to 'Table. Table is as table do-es. Cha'. It was kinda interesting seeing Marie and me together, though we're in 'character' I can see the rift between us. I can just see it in certain gestures and body languages. I can also remember what I thought at various times when I got slightly annoyed at something she did (not major annoyed but just because it pushed something in the 'wrong' direction or I felt it was out of character) and can even remember pushing that annoyance away and not letting myself feel any kind of negativity towards her. Weirdness.

Man it's cold. I can't wait till we get some heating in this house. Earlier on I was just curled up on the hard floor in front of the bar heater listening to Xena fanfic. Apart from the ipod part I felt like I was in a Dickens novel or summat. The sideburns helped of course...

 Humans are so totally the least perverted of all the living organisms on this here Planetoid. Checkit:

( Top Ten List of Bizarre Animal Sexuality, stolen from Wtf Nature. )


l especially like the totally fun guy with 28,000 genders. Imagine the size their 'Women are from Venus, Men are from Uranus' books would have to be...

I know I missed poetry day but I had to share a couple of choice Catullus poems. This guy was a contemporary of Caesar and a bit of a saucy wretch by the looks of it. These translations are a little different to the book Miry has but still very good (Miry's book simply says 'I'll fuck you both right up the arse' in no 16 for example). |If you enjoy these than you can always view more here: http://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Latin/Catullus.htm#_Toc531846740

( Catullus... )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes I know I did it a few months back but now natbat3  has suggested four people that I can shag, snog, marry and throw off a cliff. The evil witch chose me Lucy Lawless, Bishi, Natalie Portman and Florence. What a cow.

Shag:



I have not got close to getting over seeing her do Drumming Song live and I just could not give up such a chance.

Snog:



Well who wouldn't want to snog those lips? Srsly.

Marry:



Was there really ever any doubt? The woman has the whole package after all, good with kids, friend of the environment, talented and hotter than a furnace in hell. 

So unfortunately my beloved Natalie Portman is thrown from the cliff. But I think she's a tough chick and would survive, don't you?

I think thats the proper pagan name yes/no?
Well I've had a time of it make no mistake. Yes siree Bob and indeed Kate too.

On tuesday I went to see the fantastuble 'The Spanish Tragedy' at the Arcola. I heartily recommend it indeed I do. I found it to be a spiffing night and very interesting to boot. Did you know it was the first English Tragedy? Fascinating. Written a decade or so before Hamlet and with some very strong parallels, play within and a play and all that. Poor old Willy really did like to borrow and improve rather than cook it all up himself didn't he. Plus on tuesdays it be pay what you can night which was grand for poor unemployed people like me and poor foreign students like what Miry is. I got home at 2.10am again (still engineering works) to find that the computer wouldn't turn on...

Wednesday Ross came round and we watched Simpsons all day before I went in to Londinum to watch This Is It at Leicester Square. I can't begin to describe my emotions going in. Have you ever felt really excited whilst at the same time and for the same reasons sick with grief? No I can't imagine you have. I seemed to be the only one feeling that way as the packed cinema seemed to be full of only excited people of all ages and creeds. MJ's diverse fanbase is always a pleasure to see. In the end I friggin LOVED it. I don't think it should be tipped for an oscar though which is where the current buzz is headed. Apparently it's too late for the Best documentary but could be considered for Best Film... I loved it but it is *not* actually a film. It isn't even a documentary in fact. All it is is some rehearsal footage filmed by semi-professionals intended for Mjs own private collection. It does not have a narrative and does not tell a story. It does show that the show would have been more amazing than anything you could possibly imagine and it does show that Michael at 50yrs old and obviously pacing himself (i.e. running at around 60-70%) still moves with more grace and style than any of the mid-twentied attractive dancers. And his voice! Woweee. It's actually the best I've ever heard it I think. Well I mean when he wants it still sounds EXACTLY like the studio recordings but he sang a couple of things slightly differently and I very much liked the changes. I really wanted to come home and book to see it thursday but the computer still wouldn't turn on when I got home at 2.10am yet again.

On thursday Mum and I tried out 5 different computers and 4 different monitors to see if we could get something working. neither her nor my laptops seem to be able to get online past the encryption bizarrely. Eventually we found that this old eMac is capable of accessing the net and so that is what I am using. I am yet to find out if I will be able to get my podcasts. My C.V. is on the computer that won't turn on, along with my pictures...

On Friday I was in London early to go and see Valarie's trio playing in an old Jacobean mansion. It was Very good, I can't begin to tell you how impressive the fourth and last movement of the third and final piece was. They make magic them three with their cello, flute and piano.  After a quick tea (or pinneapple juice from a carton in my case) Miry and I walked around Greenwhich for a few hours and man did we walk. Did you know there is a foot tunnel under the Thames? I didn't. You walk down 100 steps then walk the width of the river, not flat though it be steeped, then up 86 steps to the other side. Nice walk, I do recommend it, not sure why it hasn't popped up in a movie. Of course we needed to go back across after that. We then walked up to the Maritime museum and the Observatory. It was closing as we got there but that didn't mean we didn't scale the STEEP hill up to the observatory. I has needz to go back and soon. Free to get in don't you know? But they have some good looking paid for stuff happening too. Afternoon Jupiter gazing anyone?! And they have an uber powerful laser that points across the city along the meridian line! How was I unaware of this? It is cool. 
Finally I went to Highbury to see the ever incredible Wave Pictures one of my eight all time top five bands. They were on top form, playing backing band for both the support acts (!) before doing their own all too short set. Daniel is too generous a front man though, I feel he invited Stanley Brinks to saxaphone a little *too* much. It was hilarious the first time though as he was on stage doing backing vocals and is it reached the dance break they just stopped and looked at him, being on the barrier I could hear Daniel say 'you gonna do a solo?' before stepping to the mic and asking as all how we'd feel about a saxaphone solo at this point in time? I love it/him. There was a similar pregnant pause at the next dance break before he got the hint. They also changed the lyrics to Kiss Me in a MJ tribute which was nice. 'I love John Lennon forever' became 'Michael Jackson forever', 'half-inched my copy of Pet Sounds' became 'half-inched my copy of Thriller' and 'You love Sgt Pepper' became 'Michael Jacksons Thriller' which wasn't nearly as strained as you might think.

You can blame samincittagazze  for this one!
 
( no raisins? )


So I was gonna give y'all a little breather but I just find it hard to say no to a meme and seen as I'm here...
( Authentic village life and London gigging... )

Now because I don't yet have teh pics have some from teh webz:


Thats actually from when Sass saw them last.



I think I'm beginning to agree with Fee that bassists are the hottest of all hot.

Ok so I know I've posted a shit load recently and I'm sorry for that but YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS!

So I met up with Trace and Miry today right? We decided to walk through St James Park on the way to Wardour St for lunch. Unfortunately by a crazy random happenstance we managed to go there during the changing of the guard. We literally could not move we were packed in with the tourists so much. Thats not the bit you need to hear. This is: They changed the guard to the music from Pirates of the Caribbean... I mean WTF?! Ok so I know that the changing of the Guard is an utterly pointless ritual and is now done solely for the purpose of attracting tourists but PotC? REALLY?! 

btw Moctezuma is a very fascinating exhibition. Go see. Also I figured out that 2027 is the date for the next fire festival so expect major blood letting then!
The name glyphs were super cool, I'm gonna get one I have decided. One guys name glyph was a leg! 
The calendar is super weird. There wasn't much of an explanation but you'd often see things like four reeds which means such and such year, then you'd have two rabbits, also there was three houses and even one death. I'll look it up when I'm more awake.
Oh and they believed that there were four 'suns' (ages) before their current fifth one. The first sun ended in 'fire rain', the second in hurricanes, the third in flood and the fourth in a plague of Jaguars! How random is that?! The fifth was due to end in Earthquake but really it ended in the Spanish. 
 

Twas my last day today. It included a suggestion that the lack of Kosovo on the drop down list of countries could be overcome by putting Serbia instead... Can someone say inappropriate fuckwit?  So now I need to figure out how to sign on. What do I do? Natbat? You've been dole scum before, teach me everything you know! Before I got my no ex-job I was unemployed for 6 months but it never once crossed my mind that I could get a hand out! It seems like I should be able to stay in contact with Chris which is good, we have a good laugh. Might also be invited to their christmas meal which would also be cool. Got a text after work wishing me luck from  Ned. I deleted it quickly. Eugh. I can't tell you how much I hate that man, my phone feels dirty.

TIM MINCHIN! TIM MINCHIN WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Like I laughed. Oh the bears, the songs the just plain everything. Fee and i were sooo excited that he did Storm, the 9 minute beat poem we saw at 9 godless last year, about 10 mins after saying we really hope he does it! I want to go back and back and back and back and back again. You can buy the live album form this tour on itunes... Argh I hate that I've quit my job! 

And now because I can:




Hmmm, I'm cheered up. And thats not the only thing thats Sorry, no crudeness here...

Just have to say I saw The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus yesterday.  It is TRUE Gilliam, in other words you will either LOVE it or HATE it. just as long as you know that if you hate you are completely wrong. Thats the problem when people are allowed their own free opinions, they're quite often wrong! I admit it was a little bit of a slow start and it doesn't *really* come good till Heath appears (amid shocked gasps from the audience, you'll see) and Heath is AMAZING. Easily betters his Joker performance, it is soo nuanced, so layered, just so good. The whole cast works brilliantly and I think it actually helped the film having different actors playing him inside the Imaginarium. JD is easily the best, he actually matches Heath. Jude is brilliant and Colin does admirably. Oh I want to see it again. Terry is a genius of the surreal. The things you will see are just mind boggling, and the true genius of the film is that he grounds it in such utter normalcy and mundanity. To cut from the wierd and wonderful world of Gilliam directly to a crane shot of Homebase is perhaps the best piece of editing I've ever seen.

Just eight of hours of work left now... ack.

Was in a terrible mood this evening. Not in a the right place at all to see comedians sing songs at Karaoke Circus. I very almost left before it started but managed to force myself to stay and I'm glad I did. I couldn't enjoy it anywhere near as much as it deserved but by the time Jeremy Hardy was singing human League I was able to laugh, not too bad seen as I was crying in the bar upstairs. Everyone was entertaining but mentions need to go to Jessica Hynes for making me fancy her EVEN more than before. OMG she has a voice on her, amazing. Ince was brilliant, and Chris Addison finished us off with an out of this world performance of Common People. OH! and bless bless bless Josie Long, I liked her voice and man she was smokin that dress. 

One last thing to say: Miry is on IMDB! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1500149/fullcredits#cast how friggin cool is that?! We're just planning her wiki page now...

Here have a pic of Lucy simultaneously saving the world and looking hot as a hot thing on a fire to say goodnight.

 I have five minutes to wait for my Xena mix to download so I thought I'd post a random post about how excited I am about some of the upcoming days! 
Wed: Seeing Miry again, saw her today and we had a great long chat in the RFH eating food we brought elsewhere. I love London. On wed we're hoping for some good Asian movie fun.
Thu: Karaoke Circus, meant to be immense fun, everyone keeps going on about it.
Fri: Last day of work and Tim Minchin! Possibly the funniest man in existence...
Sat: Meeting Miry and Trace! Haven't seen Trace since March so I am soo excited. Gonna see the Moctezema exhibition and generally have fun and most likely take plenty of Lesbian pictures as is our way. I really really miss drunk Tracy though, we're gonna try and plan a way for the three of us to be able to get nicely tipsy some time soon.
Sun: Going to see Sarah! And I'm gonna be fed some kind of Vegan roast! What the hell more could I possibly want out of a day?
Mon: Noisettes! Should be awesomeness, they rock etc.
Wed: I'm seeing This Is It. I'm actually excited but also very scared about this, not sure how I'll respond tbh. Only booked to see it three times, partly due to fear but also due to lack of money.
Fri: Wave Pictures! Oh it's been too too long since I've seen them live. Cannot wait, just hope I don't end up going alone.
And thats it. No Hallowed Eve plans as usual. Tis a shame, I miss dressing up all funny like. I mean aside from my everyday weirdity. Maybe next year I'll get something. Oh hang on!
Sun: Last GP, We're World Champions BABY! Oh yeah. Also Green Day! Ok so it's a stadium gig which aren't as good but it is GD and it should be GD with two 'oo's in the middle.
I'm def gonna stop there cuz my downloads done and I need to shower and bed myself. I've beaten the cold I almost got but I am coughing, which is basically telling me I still need to take it easy for a couple of days.

Yep. Me.
I did actually have a really good time at Ants party but maybe I shouldn't have been drinking vodka & orange that was one part vodka to two parts orange... Also maybe I shouldn't have been downing those drinks... So yeah I got ill and made a fool of myself again and of course I'm shamed but the truth is this time for me was very different to my birthday last year. Last year I was completely stupid and it was horrible. This year I was completely stupid but it served a bit of a purpose. I've just been SOOO stressed recently (well last few months) and I was in desperate need of a total blow out. Ok it's a short term solution to relieving stress and not at all healthy but I honestly think I actually really needed it. so I'm a little less apologetic about me being a fool (though still just as apologetic and thankful to those who looked after me and got me to bed, even if I did end up waking in a cupboard...).
Alas now the stress is back but don't worry I'm not planning another blow out. Would just be nice if I could relax, was sitting in the living room, sun shining, just trying to relax but couldn't. I can't even seem to stop my heart from beating at a high rate, let alone loosen muscles. My shoulders have gone back to being massively uneven after I had manages to level them out, I'm almost ill (Only ever happens if my body is trying to tell me something) and I can't think straight. 

On saturday after I woke up in Ants cupboard I made my way over to natbats to watch Eastwick, SPN and Castle. Which is very annoying as I now have yet ANOTHER great tv show to watch. I just don't have time in my life for all this! We then went to the Imax to see Up and I must say it's probably the greatest Pixar to date. I know everyone is going on and on about the opening montage but they have every reason. It is a masterclass of film making. How to get across a films worth of backstory, laughs and immensely effecting emotional punch without dialogue. Truly, truly genius. The rest of the film was just as great too!

 

我有新的電郵地址！

你現可電郵給我：mrshananado1f@yahoo.com.hk



- Dearest In The Lord,I am Mrs Hanan Adolf Paul and a deaf woman from Israel but now undergoing medical treatment in Abidjan the capital city of Ivory Coast. I am married to late Mr Adolf Paul, who worked with Israeli Embassy in Ivory Coast for Eleven years before he died in the year 2007, after a brief illness that lasted for only Ten days. We were married for Eighteen years without any child. After the death of my husband i vowed to use our wealth for the down trodden and the less privileged in our society. Recently, My Doctor told me that I may not last for the next seven months due to cancer problem, though what disturbs me most is my stroke and deaf problem. Haven known my condition i decided to Serve God with our wealth. When my late husband was alive we kept the sum of ($4.5 Million U.S. Dollars) Four million five hundred thousand united states dollars Having known my condition I decided to Give out this fund to a church or an individual or better still a God fearing person who will utilise this fund the way I am going to instruct here in.I want an individual that will use this fund to provide succor to the poor and indigent persons, orphanages, widows around him or her and Schools etc. As soon as I receive your response I shall give you the contact where the consignment box that contain the money was deposited also issue you the documents that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund.Any delay in your reply will give me room in searching for an individual for this same purpose, always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hope to receive your reply soon.Thanks and Remain Blessed.Mrs Hanan Adolf Paul.

God his voice just sounds soo amazing. The song itself is growing on me.

 Well it's been a very long week. I'm quite exhausted but at the moment I'm copying Richard Feynman lectures onto my ipod and converting Florence podcasts so that it can be played on my ipod. Gawd my ipod is an amazing place, I wish I could live in it.

So natbats partey hartey was a bucket of fun! natbat and Fee made special effort to dress up (and did an amazing job of it too I hasten to add) and so I thought I should do the same. For me that simply meant sequin tie and guyliner. But it was a pseudo effort, even if everyone did think I looked creepy. Fee made muchos delicious cocktails with her mad skillz and everyone had a lot of purple nurples. Kudos to Gemma for capturing the karaoke on natbats camera, I'm kinda glad it's saved for posterity... one thing I did notice is that I somehow make an appearance on EVERY single track... Often sizeable, or at least loud/visual. This has absolutely nothing to do with the drink (I actually never got that drunk, just enough to make it harder to sing the complicated songs and to do rock horns) this is just me when I get the merest sniff of 'stage'. It's not even that I want the attention so much it's just that I can't seem to stop myself being the 'entertainer'. Maybe I should try harder? Honestly I'm not sure how annoying I actually am, if it's worth me trying harder to change my personality. Answers on a postcard to the usual address pleases. Lets see, I was noisiest on the 'happy new flat' song, I instigated the joining into Bo Rhap for the 'will you let me go' part and 'sang' louder than everyone else as well as playing with the lighter, I screamed 'LOUDER' as natbat and Fee were doing their duet (in fairness I couldn't hear them over the backing track and it was much better when they increased their volume, but I didn't have to be quite so loud myself), I started a dance to natbat and Sarahs duet and got Ant to come in and dance obnoxiously in front of them at the end of the song and of course I did a rendition of I've Been Everywhere, Wanted Dead or Alive, dueted on Spirograph, Hiphopopotamus Vs Rhymenoceros, I Try and Kick It...
Well other highlights included hanging face down from the balcony and having my tie sucked and head caressed by what used to be Sarah's boyfriend, Stewart, I think he may be mine now, I'm not really sure. I also blew Natalies branium with my explanation of how a banana is *actually* meant to be opened as I was attempting to make my intensely alcoholic banana milkshake without the same ingredients that I barely remember using a decade ago and without the aid of a working blender. Oh yeah I had to mash up that banana. It actually didn't turn out too bad. Though I believe it may have been more alcoholic than all the other drinks I had combined.
Stayed over with Fee and Gemma and we watched Dr Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog in natbats bed. Everyone got into their night dresses and stuff like a proper slumber party and I felt left out wot with not having pjs. So natbat leant me one of her night dresses... I looked gooood. There's just something about a guy in a dress with bizarre facial hair and eye make up that just screams 'ladies, THIS is the man for you'. I literally have no idea why I'm still single. We then spent the next day watching Eastwick and Supernatural. Good TV is GOOD.

Work week has been massively knackering. Because it's the start of a new term we get a whole tent load of foreign students coming in to open accounts. I had 8 appointments on monday, 9 on tue, 9 on wed, 9 on thu and 9 on fri. We are targeted to try and have three a day... On friday I saw 7 completely back to back, literally one person leaves the next comes in. I got very confused. Plus on monday I had nightwatch. I had intended to sit in a park watching Xena but it was wet so I sat in the Southbank Centre, I rule at finding free venues to do stuff in. On friday I also had Sams (and we have a hot new recruit, may have to do more fridays...) and on saturday I had Sams. If I hadn't have overslept and got to work late on friday it would have been a 59 hour week, I think it ended up being just 57-58 hours. Next week is looking like it might be tough as we could well be a member of staff down. Only two weeks for me to go now and I still haven't done my CV. Though as I've just shown this week has been a bit tough. Don't really know how I feel at the moment. I think I'm just looking forward to the break! 

Went to the pub with Ross on sat and had a good chin wag in a pub for a few hours. During which time we got randomly approached by a random patron of the drinking establishment asking if we knew what integers were... Also during which time I left my lights on in the car... My lovely Mum came and gave me her car juice to get it started but it's reset my radio and I don't know the code so I am without a working stereo AGAIN :( Boo hiss.

Today (yesterday) I got thrashed at tennis by Chris, however I did play some AMAZING shots. I seem to have suddenly remembered how to do my forehand drop shot and just killed a couple of his serves as well as getting one or two killer cross court passing shots. So thats good. I've been playing tennis for ages very haltingly but I can't remember the last time I felt like I was actually improving. It's so good to be playing someone so much better than me. In the afternoon I picked up Fee and we went to console natbat and to watch Eastwick. Man I love that show, it just has everything. Then Fee and I went to meet Michela and to see Armando Ianucci at the roundhouse, which was highly entertaining and I got a bit over excited by the fact that Michela is loving Cryptomonicon. 

And now I'm at home writing this. I still have one more podcast to convert but I think I'll do that another night. It's bed timez for me now.

Goodnight lj.

Ok so I was gonna post about natbats party of fun and other stuff but that can wait. I wanna talk some random pseudo intellectual bullshit for a moment! And who are you to stop me? NO-ONE! Me =1 You = 0.

Which puts you ahead of the game so far in the Simon Singh list of important numbers. I have recently downloaded/stolen from pernickity  a load of Simon Singh greatness and I listened to the first five of his important numbers list thing (0, pi, the golden ratio, i and infinity). My advanced math is not all that hot, I know a few basic principles from Quantum physics but had never even really heard of the golden ratio (probably my fave of the series, fascinating and one of the things it can create is the shape of a snail or nautilus shell:


I expect you can figure that out for yourselves what with it being so self explanatory and all) and I came away with a deep sense of longing to do philosophy again.
WHY? Why I exactly? (Be more constructive with your feedback, please) Well because I am in the strange position of being both a 'scientist' (in outlook obv not in knowledge) and a philosopher. What this means to me in terms of thinking about numbers is especially strange. As a scientist all this unusual maths is truly fascinating and show just how cool science really is, how much we can delve and discover with the human cranium, how pure maths really can unveil (and mostly pose more) fundamental questions about the universe. As a philosopher I believe that numbers do not exist in any shape or form. Ultimately discussing a number is following a sign that has no real meaning. Numbers are signs that we invented to help us label 'patterns' that do not exist. In vague terms you called call the whole numbers game a posteriori knowledge, it needs no justification in experience. In fact it is impossible to have 'real' experience of numbers. In life there is never more than one of anything, and so even the number one has no meaning. In fact in truth I should mention that I am a immaterialist (neo-Kantian, Wittgenstenian, neo-Berkeleyian immaterialist to be more precise. A subset of philospher which I am 100% certain I am the only member. (That was an obscure joke btw, a logical fallacy and indeed a contradiction in terms, no way I could be 100% sure of anything you see... Oh I geek too much.)) and so no such knowledge is *really* possible in any fact, but that's by the by to my point. The point I may have forgotten with such incredible meanderings that I have only the vaguest notion of what I'm talking about. Still I do like a good meander so I shall forego any kind of edit and start afresh instead.
This is my theory which is mine (and many others, who may have come up with it before me in a much more cleverer way and with better wordage): Numbers are all bullshit man! Look, what happens when you put an apple with another apple? You have two apples? NO! Of course you don't. What has changed? How has the apple changed so that it has become part of this mystical two? It hasn't. Two and all numbers are simply a construct of the human race. In the same way that the word 'time' is not *actually* time but simply a sign that points towards a concept that I could easily prattle on about a lot more but I really should not get started on that. In this case the sign is pointing to a construct we have because we like to see patterns where there are none. An apple next to another apple is simply that. It is not two apples. So does this mean that all maths and by extension science is a load of wasteless bullshit? Why yes it does. And also no, not in a million years. An explanation you ask? Well I'm surprised at you, I thought you'd fallen asleep many sentences ago but yes I shall oblige. I may be an immaterialist but nevertheless we do live in a kind of duality. The duality does not come from the mind/body problem however. Numbers do not exist. This is similar to the fact that we do not exist. This so called world does not exist and likely our thoughts do not even exist. Does this mean we should all stop taking care at cliff edges? No it doesn't, in fact it barely changes anything. All of this shit may be a type of illusion but the fact remains it is an illusion that we have found 'ourselves' in and it is the only thing we have. Within this illusion these bodies work, we have independent thought and can seemingly 'know' many things and even interact with other 'people'. Also these strange little numbers can be manipulated to do all kinds of weird stuff. And it works! It 'tells' us things, interesting things. Things that really should be told, that time and effort should go into. Does it *actually* tell us anything about the true nature of the 'world'? Not even close. Such a thing is impossible on all four pillars of my philosophical sub-set. As such it is completely pointless to even try such a thing. So we may as well kick back and let rip with all this nonsense we think we see around us.

All this was rattling round my head whilst trying to get to grips with these mathematical concepts and it just reminds me how much I really love philosophy. Obviously my prose is well out of date as I'm not able to express myself all that clearly, it has been a long time. Yet I know i still have a good brain for philosophy, I can delve into extreme abstraction with relative ease and have that innate ability to see things from many different viewpoints which means I'm normally the first to poke holes in my thoughts and thus robustify them before pen even reaches paper. Ok so it's not worked all that well as the way i've written this is choka full of holes and pokey bits, but this is less to do with the theory than it is with my wording (which is everything, especially in philosophy).

Hmm long nerdy post is long and nerdy. I will stop talking now, except to say that a woman told me I looked lovely today. Unfortunately said woman was in her 70's. She asked me how many girlfriends I had which sent work mate Chris into gaffaws as he likes to tease at my inability to pull any of the substantial amount of top totty I seem to open accounts for every day. I swear Columbia must be the worst place in the world to go and find hot women because they've all been shipped here, must be a country of mingers by now surely! She then suggested I date other work mate Manisha which also prompted gaffaws. Argh it's 3.30am and I have the final 5 hours of my 59hr work week to do at 1pm (which means leaving house at 11.30) so I think I need to have sleepy timez.

Wow so where do I start? So much has happened since my last post. Thu-Sunday was just an uber long time filled with oodles of wonderful nuggets.

( Thursdays adventures )

( Fridays Fun )

( Saturdays Sumptuousness )

( Sundays Sexiness )

( Mondays quittin' day )

Ok I've probably prattled on enough now! I'm So tired lol. Night night all! Well actually i've got to sort out my insurance before it expires so I won't be bedding yet. Oh pics of Florence will come when I get them (PLS FEE PLS I NEEDZZZ! ) and when the jump dvd arrives I'll try and post some screen caps :)

Why do I still do these?

( 29 questions... )</div>

Well thats it, being 26 is all over now. Nothing but a distant dream, I reminisce about those youthful days now and then.

Today has been ... odd. I don't really know how to describe my mood. Seemed ok in the morning, mum gave me a great 3d card of cartoon characters going to the moon which was cool (best she could get to represent sky diving) but of course it was signed simply 'Mum'. Now I wasn't expecting my birthday to be that hard because all through uni I didn't even see my parents on my birthday as I was moving into Londinium flattage, so it's not really much of a family affair for me. But seeing the gaping hole where my Dads name should be was not nice. 

Went to play pool with Ross and I think I was ok then, a little subdued maybe but I don't think I was feeling down per se. Then, after thrashing Ross (he won just one game on his own merit, it's normally a fairly equal match up) I went to pick up Fee for a dvd watching sleepover night. I'm not sure when it started but my moods been low all evening, not even all that excited by watching Xena eps (though we are still on the first half of season one, it's yet to get truly good). We then switched to Boston Legal and my mood slightly increased for all the laughing but then dropped immeasurably for the Shirley having to euthanise her father story line. I was crying quite heavily. For some reason it didn't really feel like much of a release though, the last few times when I have managed to cry it's been a great cathartic relief and I've been pleased about being able to shed something from my inner turmoil. This time, not so much. Maybe it's because I was holding it back, trying not to show too much or summat. Probably should have let it all out, after all it was my birthday so I could cry if I wanted to.

Still I've had relatively few bad days since Dad died so it's not really surprising that it was gonna happen soon. Just hope I feel a bit better tomorrow, I really need to get some things done and if I feel like this then I'll be completely incapable.

<edit: Just come back from a quick pop to tescos to get a couple of essentials. Scanned my items and the bill came to 13.37! lol unfortunately I'd forgotten something so it didn't end up being a leet shopping trip, I was pwnd my muesli you could say. Anyway loud turbowolf makes things better, no need for people to worry. Sorry for being dramatic.>

Hey, those of you that are on here and came yesterday, thanks for coming! I think thats just natbat and fee lol. Well it didn't exactly go all according to plan, instead of getting in a pub at 7 we ended up not entering a drinking establishment until almost 11! bloody food shortage in Brick Lane I swear. Still a fun time was had, Ant and I made an incredible animation of a man I made from bits of poppadoms (no mean feat I tell you), gif animation to follow. Was great to see James again, very glad he decided to come, especially as he came alone. Went back to natbats glorious flat after and was up bright and early to go to Camden and get inked. Went really well, I'm happy with the results and it failed to hurt. Actually even tickled at one point. Came out considering getting one more. I would find it amusing to have 'THIS IS MY CLONE' written very small somewhere fairly well hidden. Like in 6th Day where you can only tell a clone by a blue dot on the inside of the eyelid or summat. Anyway, have a couple of pics that I took in the bathroom.








Not sure why exactly but I've decided not to tell Mum, it's not that she'd mind exactly but it's not really something she'd expect me to do... I dunno why that matters to me. Still today we had a bit of a chat about stuff so that was good. She had a busy day yesterday going out and doing stuff which is very good as it was the 6 month anniversary. I didn't even notice which I feel quite bad about. So we didn't talk a lot but she said she gets tense in the build up to the anniversaries but the day itself doesn't seem too bad. It's not much but its a start in talking to each other so thats good.

What a great evening! Met up with nateybatey to go and watch a double bill at the PCC. Legend and Princess' Bride.
I have seen Legend before but I was probably about 6 when I last saw it. Was very enjoyable, Tim Curry is great and everyone laughed heartily at all the veiled references to sex. Who knew when we were young that the films we watched were so filthy?
However nothing compared to watching The Princess' Bride. The place was completely sold out and oh boy was there atmosphere. I truly think this was the best cinema experience EVAH. We all got so caught up in all, despite the fact that everyone obviously knew the film inside out (I once watched it three times in one day as a youth. By accident mind, but I still enjoyed it every time) people were gasping at the supposed death of Inigo Montoya etc. There were numerous rounds of applause, especially as Count Rugen is run through and during the credits when Peter Cooks name came up. I was expecting a big reaction to 'Hello. My Name is Inigo Motoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.' In fact I was expecting not to hear it as everyone in the audience chanted along with him. What actually happened was much better, everyone obviously wanted to hear the words being said so we all whispered along with him! Oh such such happy times.
Funnily we saw Ben and Mary there! I thought I saw him as I walked in, out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't sure cuz I've only seen pictures about two years ago and he's lost a load of weight, but natbat saw him when I was in the loo. When she said I was here he ran into the auditorium! Lol, I can understand why he might be reticent to meet me but it's a shame because he will forever be my hero!

I think I have decided to quit my job. I'm terrified and I really don't want to but I cannot justify staying there on any moral grounds. I HAVE to stand up for what I believe in and in this case it means getting the fuck out. I am pissed off that this might severely damage my current plans and life goal but I just don't have a choice.

Here have a quote/picspam to entertain your cockles: 


( The Princess' Bride )

What does lj think of this? Chris' disappearance  from workland got me thinking about my dissatisfaction with work and my inability to get up off my arse and do anything about it. It occurred to me that maybe I need 'the fear', I don't want to end up too afraid like Chandler. Maybe it would be best if I just quit my job and then started looking furiously. I've done some basic math and shockingly when you take out my railcard, going out, buying food and other extravagances my monthly bill is still about £315. If I were to eat up all my savings I would be able to survive on a frugal budget for around 8 months. So thats up to 8 months unemployment without taking into account dole money. Finally living at home has an upside! This idea is starting to be more and more appealing as I now know this about Lloyds:

Lloyds are principle bankers to BAE and Qinetiq and have £717m of shares in the UK Arms sector.

THIS IS NOT GOOD. I mean srsly wtf, I can't believe I didn't know this. I am really not not not NOT happy about working for a company that is profiteering from death and evil. I hate the fact that I still feel really bad about leaving because I'm gonna be putting the branch and the people I like in deep deep shit. But I can't help that and it shouldn't really be my concern. Of course this means delaying my planned Japanese lessons and stuff. I think I really do need to do something though, I'm in a massive rut right now and I desperately need to get out of it. What do you good people think? This is still a quite humongous decision and I'd love to hear your input.

This also begs the question who in the hell should I bank with now? Well all the major high street banks invest in arms trade because it's such a big money spinner. Who cares that is costs millions of lives? Who cares that this support includes manufacturers of depleted uranium and cluster munitions, causing untold civilian death? Fucking world. So all the big banks are out (Barclays is the worst btw, £7.3 billion in global arms investments, that's before counting what loans they give to help the companies continue to develop death). It looks like I'm gonna have to bank with the co-op. It's gonna be a real pain, I get a lot of airmiles and stuff with Lloyds, plus I can't even see what type of card I could get with the co-op, may not be Visa or Mastercard which would be a right pain in the arse. Why the hell is it so difficult to be ethical in this fucking world? Of course I could switch to a Lloyds Islamic account because then I'm guaranteed that the money I hold with them is not being used for investments. Of course it's still supporting the company though.
Ug.

Btw Chris actually came into work today! He hasn't just upped and left, his phone broke, he was major ill and apparently tried to phone the branch from pay phones but he was doing it at the times in which it is physically impossible for us to answer the phones, especially with a member of staff down!